Creativity

What is creativity?
Is it a message from the unknown?
It\'s taking nothingness and turning it into something our senses can respond to.
Nobody stops and thinks.
How does that happen?
It\\\'s crazy to even fathom what amazing light show our brain must experience when a new idea shines through.
Brilliant magnificent and forward moving.

Creativity is beautiful. It\'s the essential part of living... The part that perpetuates growth, excites us and gives us hope.

Dreams of my life

Confused, awaiting for an answer,
I sit and wonder about what to do
The age old decision: one out of three
Three amazing choices
Each one with its lessons and pleasures
At times I crave all three
But hitting the reality wall I see I cannot
I must be fair, I must be loyal
One choice brings me art and beauty
But leaves me wanting more
One choice brings me awakening and wisdom
But lacks stability and balance
And one choice brings me security and affection
But lacks the deep spiritual roots
Choices with infinite possibilities...
Do I run away from all three?
In attempt to not hurt and not scar?
Do I accept all and hate myself for deception?
Or do I pick one and wonder forever
Would the two I do not pick have better outcomes?
I\'ll never know.
So what do I do?

I'm loving your skin

Thoughts of you rush in; the touch, the kiss, 
The way I felt when your lips touched me... 
It was bliss, magic at its best; 
The passion, the intensity, the connection 
Like floating on a could in heaven, I was high
So high on your presence in my bed 
Felling I could roll around forever,
Like time was inexistent, a concept unknown
You stopped the world and looked into my eyes 
"You are amazing!" 
Hearing that made me melt like ice-cream in the sun 
The energy between us was that of magnets 
Clasping together, difficult to break apart 
It was more than just sex
It was a union of souls experiencing sexual pleasure
But, like all blissful moments, it came to an end
You got up, rolled out of bed and walked away from me
Just like that, with lack of thinking time, I smiled
No regrets, just platonic abstraction
Because at least you chose me, 
Even if for only a short time. 

Back to Basics

What can I write?
What does my mind create this time?
I’m worried:
Back to being a hopeless romantic
I drift into thoughts…
What is he doing?
Is he ok?
Did his day bring happiness?
Did he change his mind?
Can it really be true?
Confused, I sit and wonder:
Am I in love again?
I think so!
What now?
What do I do?
Do I lose myself in love or do I run scared of such amazing feelings?
I think I’ll stay, avoid escape
Just let myself be taken over
Let the love motivate me, inspire me and guide me
All I can pray for is the elimination of worry…

A dream of the future

I wake up in the morning to the smell of coffee and croissants. I wake up and I see Jon's not there... I stretch with a big smile on my face and get out of bed. As I am walking to the bathroom Jon bursts through the doors with 2 coffees and breakfast. He puts it on the table in front of me and says: "for you my lady!" I smile, kiss him in the cheek and proceed towards the bathroom to get ready for the day. After we both get ready and eat our breakfast, we head out to explore the city... Paris on a warm sunny day... What could be better? We hold hands as we walk through the streets, marveling at the beauty around us. We visit the museums and discuss history. We appreciate the art around us and are thankful to be alive to honor it. We stop at a quaint little cafe and have lunch. A guy is resting against the building outside playing the most beautiful guitar. It's amazing how great the food tastes when you are in Paris and you are in love with all the beauty surrounding you. Even plain white bread has a magic all of its own. After eating our late lunch we head off towards the arc. It's my dream to take Jon there so he can experience what I felt when I stood up there: LOVE, BEAUTY and PEACE! We get there, almost out of breath and climb up. When I see the look on Jon's face as he looks at the view, my life makes sense! His eyes light up with passion and appreciation. It's an unforgettable moment. He puts his arms around me and there we stand: on top of the arc... With Paris at our feet!
We stay up there probably for longer than we should and watch the sun go down. After this magical moment we come down the arc and go for a bite to eat. We decide to grab a sandwich and a bottle of wine and go to a park to sit on the grass and have dinner. We talk for hours as we lay down and look at the stars, trying to pick out constellations. Still on the magical high we achieve from being together we get up and rush back to our hotel. We kiss deeply and fall a victim to our big king bed. The rest is up to your imagination....

A new adventure everyday

A new beginning

A new hope

A new lifestyle

A different structure

A disruption of old patterns

A new way to turn everything into art

A goodbye to worry and fear

A welcoming of peace

A wholesome acceptance of self

A hunger for life

A quest for salvation

An appreciation for mother earth

An understanding of the mystical universe

A story that will one day go down in history

That's what I want to achieve!

Love overcomes all obstacles

I want to go the Buddhist temple on Sunday and learn abut mediation. I need to learn how to meditate better. I need to let my mind take me places where I can feel what I imagine in my mind. If I imagine a beach I want to be able to feel the humidity, the sun resting on my shoulders, the smell of the seawater... Etc. the next 3 months I am dedicated to get back in touch with my soul. From now on I am feeding only my soul. Not my mind, not my heart, not my impulses, not my stomach, but my soul. The soul carries the spirit and it needs to be well fed for the spirit to dwell within you as you.

Ok I'm going to try and exercise. I'm going to let go and see what comes out when I'm not trying to think about what to write. Ok here goes:

I'm running faster and faster I go reaching what? An empy balcony? A place for me to hide?

What am I running from? Maybe the music is inspiring this. Beethoven always made me think of climbing stairs.... Or maybe it's the movie I was just watching. Everyone was running away form each other? Wow this doesn't even make sense does it. Maybe I can give myself one sentence and go from there.

Here's my second attempt at that with a random sentence to get me going. I'm going to find a note and go from there:

Sometimes I feel alone.. Like no one's out there that cares but I realize... There is! They just aren't in any premise to get to me. Being alone isnt that bad. I get to explore the dimensions of my mind and soul. I get to be in relationship with Irina and get to know Irina better. I can raise myself up to be better than ever before. I can teach myself to do things I never thought were possible.

And a note for Jon:

<3 thank you for bringing back the innocent little girl. At the end of the day our purpose in life is to stay true to the little kids inside us. They are the ones that carry our purpose and meaning. Me and u first connected when we were young and unhurt by the world's cruel deliveries. Now we are older, and reaching out to each other is still what brings us hope and a deeper meaning and trust in the magic of the world around us. I'm patiently awaiting for April.

I want

I want to escape to Paris again

I want to get up and sing loud

I want to jump off a cliff and into a warm pool of water

I want to run thought the streets of Italy

I want to indulge myself in Greece

I want to inspire others with laughter

I want to end everyday with a kiss

I want to feel love from my head to my toes

I want more than just ok

I want to invigorate my spirits in Bali

I want to meditate with the world at my feet

I want to rise high and forget my past

I want to let go of any regrets and resentments

I want to be free

No more rules, no more hesitations, no more "I can't"

These walls are not going to surround me anymore!!!!!

I'm back

My spark is back

It's been ignited

My soul jumps and jolts

The waves crash on the shore

And my mind is filled with beauty once again

I can finally stop hiding

I can show myself to art now

Breathing is somehow different

The air filling my lungs is full of hope and promise

Creativity is rushing back in

Asking for forgivenss and regret

Well this is to say sorry;

Sorry for loosing myself

Sorry for giving in to mass conciousness

Never again will I do that

This time I'm here to stay

The universe has a funny way of working its magic

Pain can sometimes be the greatest treasure of all

Sometimes it's the answer to everything

My answer is freedom and love!